Five years ago my son
decided he didn't want anything to do with his
"crazy mom" any more. This has happened to a lot
of mothers with bipolar disorder, including mine.
I divorced her for about seven years. It was
several years after she had stabilized on lithium
before I ventured to rebuild a relationship with
her again. This has happened for a lot of mothers
with bipolar disorder, too. I'm still waiting to
see if it happens for me.
Mother's Day 2000
"Promise me you will
never have children," my
great-aunt said to my mother. "Armageddon is
coming -- a terrible time to be born!"
"How dare you deny my
children life," said my mother,
"with all its terror and pain and
glory. You don't
know what will happen to you,
or to a child --
and you don't
know what she
may do." "Promise me you will never have
children," my guru said to me. "You are foolish
and immature, and so is the human race. Let it
all die, and be replaced."
"Many people are wiser than I," I
said, "but many
are even more foolish.
and in general
I think I'll gamble
that the general mean sum
of humanity plus my son
will be slightly
greater than your
general meanness." "You
are a terrible woman," I told my mother, "I'd
like to forget you exist."
But every day now I celebrate
the strengths she
passed on to me. "You are a terrible woman," my
son said, "I'd like to forget you exist."
But I see in his
pictures from around the world
the strengths of two women who
stood up to Armageddon
and I am glad.