The Worst Country Songs of All Time

       

    • Do You Love As Good As You Look?
    • Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares
    • If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me
    • May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose
    • When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
    • You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
    • You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
    • You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
    • You Were Only A Splinter In My Ass As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
    • You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
    • Big Balls in Cowtown
    • "Well the dog died when Momma went to prison..." (by Steve Goodman)
    • I got an achin in my heart and arson on my mind .....
    • Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
    • Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
    • Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
    • Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
    • How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
    • How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
    • I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
    • I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
    • I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
    • I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
    • I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart. (Note: 8 songs below, these should be sung in two part harmony!)
    • I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
    • I Wanna Whip Your Cow
    • I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
    • I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
    • I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
    • I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
    • I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
    • I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
    • I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
    • If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
    • If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
    • If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
    • If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
    • If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
    • Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
    • My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
    • My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
    • My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
    • My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
    • Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
    • Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
    • She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
    • She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
    • She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
    • She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
    • Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
    • They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
    • Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
    • When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
    • You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
    • You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
    • You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
    • You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
    • You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
    • "I Gave Her a Ring and She Gave Me the Finger"
    • "I Knew I'd Hit Rock Bottom, When I Woke Up On Top of You"
    • "Kiss the Meatloaf Off My lips"
    • "There Ain't Enough Whiskey in Tennessee to Drink the Ugly Off of you."
    • "If I had to do it all over again honey, I'd do it all over you"
    • She Broke My Heart: I Broke Her Jaw
    • I Bought the Shoes That Walked Out on Me
    • Her Teeth Were Stained but Her Heart Was Pure (actual song from Lubbock where too much natural fluoride in the water makes your teeth ugly)
    • Never Slap a Cowboy Chewing Tobacco

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