The chicken wanted to
expose the myth of the road.
Brak, of Space Ghost
Well, it wasn't a road,
it was a path at the chicken farm, and he was just wandering around.
If you ask this question,
you deny your own chicken-nature.
To face a kinder, gentler
thousand points of headlights.
To come, to see, to conquer.
To cultivate its garden.
Bill the Cat
The chicken didn't exactly
cross the road. As of 1994, something like 99.8% of all US chickens reaching
maturity that year had spent 82% of their lives in confinement. The living
conditions in most chicken coops break every international law ever written,
and some, particularly the ones for chickens bound for slaughter, border on
inhumane. My point is, they had no chance to cross the road (unless you count
the ride to the supermarket). Even if one or two have crossed roads for whatever
reason, most never get a chance. Of course, this is not what we are told.
Instead, we see chickens happily dancing around on Sesame Street and Foster
Farms commercials where chickens are not only crossing roads, but driving
trucks (incidentally, Foster Farms is owned by the same people who own the
Foster Freeze chain, a subsidiary of the dairy industry). Anyway, ... (Chomsky
continues for 32 pages. For the full text of his answer, contact Odonian Press)
Andrew Dice Clay
To (censored), What can
I tell you -OOOOOOOOOOH
Mistah Chicken, he dead.
It may very well have
been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An
historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean
achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable
It was the logical next
step after coming down from the trees.
Because it ran out of
Any number of contending
discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road,
and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never
be discerned, because structuralism is dead.
Jacques Derrida (in a
What is the *difference?*
The chicken was merely deferring from one side of the road to other. And how
do we get the idea of the chicken in the first place? Does it exist outside
It had sufficient reason
to believe it was dreaming anyway.
Because it could not
stop for death.
How many roads must one
Whether the chicken crossed
the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Weialala leia / Wallala
TS Eliot (revisited)
Do I dare to cross the
Ralph Waldo Emerson
It didn't cross the road;
it transcended it.
It was forced to do so
by the chicken-hole principle.
Oh, don't mind that chicken.
It's from Barcelona.
Gerald R. Ford
It probably fell from
an airplane and couldn't stop its forward momentum.
It did so because the
discourse of crossing the road left it no choice-the police state was oppressing
The chicken obviously
was female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalk sign
was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious, selbstverstaendlich.
To cross the road less
Zsa Zsa Gabor
It probably crossed to
get a better look at my legs, which, thank goodness, are good, dahling.
The traffic started getting
the chicken had to cross.
If not for the plumage
of its peerless tail
the chicken would be
the chicken would be
Johann Friedrich von Goethe
The eternal hen-principle
made it do it.
Stephen Jay Gould
It is possible that there
is a sociobiological explanation for it, but we have been deluged in recent
years with sociobiological stories despite the fact that we have little direct
evidence about the genetics of behavior, and we do not know how to obtain
it for the specific behaviors that figure most prominently in sociobiological
To die. In the rain.
We are not sure which
side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
Because of an excess of
light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
It needed Lebensraum.
Out of custom and habit.
This was an unprovoked
act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve
gas on it.
It found a better car,
which was on the other side of the road.
To show the armadillo
that, "it can be done."
John Paul Jones
It has not yet begun
Once upon a time a nicens
little chicken named baby tuckoo crossed the road and met a moocow coming
To forge in the smithy
of its soul the uncreated conscience of its race.
Wonder why chickens cross
roads. Must be some law. Migration maybe. Mrs Marion Bloom.
the chicken crossed the
road well Poldy I dont know why why do you worry about such stupid bloody
things O speaking of stupid bloody things here it comes again damn it its
only been three weeks I wonder is there something wrong with me yes
The confluence of events
in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads
at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such
occurrences into being.
Because it was a duty.
Martin Luther King
It had a dream.
James Tiberius Kirk
To boldly go where no
chicken has gone before.
Because of its desire
for *object a*.
I'm sorry, Ollie. It
escaped when I opened the run.
Because that's the only
kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
Are you sure it wasn't
Zeus dressed up as a chicken? He's into that kind of thing, you know.
Gottfried Von Leibniz
In this best of all possible
worlds, the road was made for it to cross.
So that its subjects
will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage
to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the
strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner
is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
Paul de Man
The chicken did not really
cross the road because one sideand the other are not really opposites in the
Paul de Man (uncovered
after his death)
So no one would find
out it wrote for a collaborationist Belgian newspaper during the early years
of World War II.
Chicken? What's all this
talk about a chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My
aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.
To escape the bourgeois
Also Karl Marx
It was a historical inevitability.
Because, in this patriarchial
state, for the last four centuries, men have applied their principles of justice
in determining how chickens should be cared for, their language has demeaned
the identity of the chicken, their technology and trucks have decided how
and where chickens will be distributed, their science has become the basis
for what chickens eat, their sense of humor has provided the framework for
this joke, their art and film have given us our perception of chicken life,
their lust for flesh has has made the chicken the most consumed animal in
the US, and their legal system has left the chicken with no other recourse.
To get various strains
To justify the ways of
God to men.
To get to the (censored)
Alfred E. Neumann
What? Me worry?
Sir Isaac Newton
Chickens at rest tend
to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.
Know ye that it is unclean
to eat the chicken that has crossed the road, and therefore the chicken that
crosseth the road doth so for its own preservation.
'Cause it (censored) wanted
to. That's the (censored) reason.
Because if you gaze too
long across the road, the road gazes also across you.
National Security was
It was drawn by the subconscious
chthonian power of the feminine which men can never understand, to cross the
road and focus itself on its task. Hens are not capable of doing this- their
minds do not work that way. Feminism tries vainly to pretend there is no real
difference between them, falsely following Rousseau. But de Sade has proved....
Out of common sense.
Nobody expects the banished
There already was a chicken
on the other side of the road.
For the greater good.
Pyrrho the Skeptic
It was crossing the road
*because of its own rational choice to do so*. There cannot be a collective
unconscious; desires are unique to each individual.
In order to act in good
faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
Because the external
influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop
in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing
these actions to be of its own free will.
The Air Force was only
too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken
availed himself of the opportunity.
You tell me.
I don't care. Catch it.
I need its eggs to make my omelette.
Georg Friedrich Riemann
The answer appears in
'Cos ma wee transporter
beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, Captain!
I don't know why, but
methinks I could rattle off a hundred-line soliloquy about it without much
Was it pushing a rock,
To pick up some hemlock
at the corner druggist.
If you saw me coming you'd
cross the road too!
Brad Templeton (Moderator
Do you think I have time
to answer questions like that? I'm not a riddle-answering service. Anyway,
I've heard it before.
There was no alternative.
To not go (sic) gentle
into that good night.
Henry David Thoreau
To live deliberately
... and suck all the marrow out of life.
Thomas de Torquemada
Give me ten minutes with
the chicken and I'll find out.
The news of its crossing
has been greatly exaggerated.
Actually it crossed the
Delaware with me back in 1776. But most history books don't reveal that I
bunked with a birdie during the duration.
I invited it to come up
and see me sometime.
To cluck the song of itself.
The possibility of crossing
was encoded into the objects chicken and road, and circumstances came into
being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.