StreetWrites Workshop for Writing Out of the Margins

Sound and Nonsense
by © Dr. Wes Browning


     One of the things I've found is that it really helps to pay attention to the sounds of words when I'm writing. Sounds are funny in themselves, so they can heighten the effect of humor. So, it is worth it to practice writing doggerel of various sorts whether you are going to use it in your humor writing or not. The practice gets you to see what sorts of sounds and rhythms add to humor.
     So anyway for an exercise I'd recommend people come up with new verses to "The Gardener's Song". Try to make your verses have the same KIND of humor that Carrol's do, but try to make them funnier. Remember that Lewis Carrol only had to make Victorians laugh, people who, let's face it, would laugh at dead worms in their beer. My own first try is at the bottom:

The Gardener's Song, by Lewis Carrol

He thought he saw an Elephant,
     That practiced on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
     A letter from his wife.
"At length I realise", he said,
     "The bitterness of Life!"

He thought he saw a Buffalo
     Upon the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found it was
     His Sister's Husband's Niece.
"Unless you leave this house", he said,
     "I'll send for the Police!"

He thought he saw a Rattlesnake
     That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
     The Middle of Next Week.
"The one thing I regret", he said,
     "Is that it cannot speak!"

He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
     Descending from the bus:
He looked again, and found it was
     A Hippopotamus:
"If this should stay to dine", he said,
     "There won't be much for us!"

He thought he saw a Kangaroo
     That worked a coffee-mill:
He looked again, and found it was
     A Vegetable-Pill.
"Were I to swallow this", he said,
     "I should be very ill!"

He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four
     That stood beside his bed:
He looked again, and found it was
     A Bear without a Head.
"Poor thing," he said, "poor silly thing!
     It's waiting to be fed!"

He thought he saw an Albatross
     That fluttered round the lamp:
He looked again, and found it was
     A Penny-Postage-Stamp.
"You'd best be getting home," he said:
     "The nights are very damp!"

He thought he saw a Garden-Door
     That opened with a key:
He looked again, and found it was
     A Double Rule of Three:
"And all its mystery", he said,
     "Is clear as day to me!"

He thought he saw an Argument
     That proved he was the Pope:
He looked again, and found it was
     A Bar of Mottled Soap.
"A fact so dread", he faintly said,
     "Extinguishes all hope!"

My own effort, so far:

He thought he saw a Chevrolet
     Roll off the assembly line.
He looked again, and found it was
     A vat of turpentine.
"I mightn't have cared", he said aloud,
     "If it had a better shine!"

Write On!
Anitra L. Freeman
StreetWrites Workshop Exercises