The Dr. Is In

in Poetry

Dr. Wes

Out of Order

Dear Wes,

I won't be around to help you with your column this time - I'm going to FolkLife instead. Why not write about the cat and bird? If that doesn't work, you should try complaining again.

- good luck, your muse, Cindy H.

ACK! Write about the cat and bird? I finally get on the cover after four years here and my own Muse says write about the cat and bird? This is my moment in the limelight, my four minutes and thirty-three seconds of fame, and I'm supposed to move over for a Siamese-Tabby with delusions of grandeur and an anti-social Green Singing Finch?

Now - let's see - what is there to complain about around here? Hmmm, hmmm, OH what is THAT I see on the horizon? Isn't that a stadium whose cost is overrunning, and a baseball team that wants ME to pay for it?

That's ME as in "yes I do pay property taxes, they're included in the rent." That's ME as in he who has to pay sales tax, because he just recently had to buy a pair of socks, and who very soon will also pay sales taxes buying a book, because he needs a book to stay sane?

Gee, when was the last time anyone walked into the welfare office and said, "Hey pals, thanks a heap for that check, it came in real handy the last two and a half weeks, but wouldn't you know it? There's been some cost overruns in the upkeep department, so you guys will need to pay the extra!" That'd require bloated gonads wouldn't it?

Sigh. You know the cat and bird do have a certain anti-Paul Allen appeal working for them that could make them even attractive to the Major League-oriented. Yeah, I could allow a brief discussion of their merits.

Firstly, it is impossible to be a member of the Real Change Board of Directors, and not to be made comfortable by Sid "the Real Director" Vicious and Zino "The Bird" Frankenscotty. And, lets face it, that's what a Board member's job is, being comfortable. "Should we do X, Y and Z?" "Well," says the seasoned Board member, "I'm comfortable with us doing X and Y, but I just don't feel comfortable with Z." And, what do you know, but after the debate, if the average Board member isn't comfortable with Z, Z doesn't happen! HA! I love it!

Secondly, they're inexpensive to maintain. No cost overruns. And finally, they keep our priorities straight, always reminding us we are here to serve THEM.

This column has been interrupted due to technical errors. Dr. Wes' column MAY return next issue. [The Board]

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