WARNING * THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SATIRE * YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
FURTHER NOTE: I composed this because I do believe that the Gender Wars are Thoroughly Ridiculous and therefore a fine and proper target for Satire.
Top Ten Reasons why the Original Absolutely Perfect Golden Age Society Way Back When was a Matriarchy, with a Goddess religion:
10) Obviously, one woman can take care of multiple men much more easily than one man can take care of multiple women. The first families would do things the most obvious way; it would only get complicated later.
9) Tracing descent through the female line is simpler. It is rather obvious who your mother was.
8) Human beings tend to picture God a lot like the major authority figure in their family.
So Matriarchies have Goddess religions.
And modern Fundamentalists have a bearded man who wears a dress, because Mama really rules, but Papa has to seem to rule.
7) The original Homo WannabeSapiens (as distinguished from modern Homo WannabeSapiens) were hunter-gatherers (the term for the modern species is "sitter-consumerers").
Do you know how many times a hunter comes back with less meat than he started with, having not only eaten his brown-bag lunch, but sweated several pounds off his bones?
While the women and children, who were doing the gathering, always had food ready.
6) There is also a human tendency to deify one's source of food. Hence, hunter-gatherer types had a Nature Goddess, with a Horned Consort.
And in our era, the temple-like Golden Arches signify McDonald's.
5) Sexual ecstasy is very akin to religious ecstasy. It would be natural to assume that those who experienced the most sexual ecstasy were closest to Divinity.
Hence, Goddess religion.
4) There is still a racial memory that women are divine.
Have you heard of "The Divine Bette Midler"? Yes. Well, have you ever heard of "The Divine Von Damme"? YOU say it in his hearing.
3) The Judeo-Christian mythos presents mankind's miseries, and all evil, as "all Eve's fault". Whoever came up with that obviously regarded Eve as an extremely powerful figure. It makes sense that the religion just prior to the writing of Genesis was a Goddess religion - and the first Jews were Goddess worshippers who just got cheesed off at her.
2) Men still blame everything on women, demonstrating a racial memory of women as figures of power.
Women still blame men for everything, demonstrating that women have a racial memory of being in authority.
1) Arguments for Patriarchy and Father gods are written by men.
Arguments for Matriarchy and Mother goddesses are written by women.
Patriarchy is so arranged that women have to be twice as smart and write twice as well to even be heard, let alone survive to breed.
Therefore, the arguments for Matriarchy and Goddesses are always better than those for Patriarchy and Gods.
- Anitra (aka Pandora, keeper of the Interesting Box)
Return to Contents