Morning Has Broken. Morning Has ALWAYS Been Broken.

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I wish to take this opportunity to try, once again, to expose the insidious destructiveness of - MORNING.

This is NOT humorous, but whenever I try to point out the evils of morning, my friends laugh. They think I am joking. Very well, I will disguise my expose as a humorous article. But this laughter, friends, is

DENIAL. The world has been exposed to the effects of morning for so long, so repeatedly, that people have grown NUMB. They are no longer aware of the corrosive pain being wreaked on their bodies and souls. But I, who have minimized my exposure to morning in a lifetime of folk music, poetry readings, and computer programming, am SENSITIVE, and I can FEEL the agony of morning.

As one man I interviewed said, "If I saw 5AM on the sidewalk, I'd shoot it."

This is only self-defense! (It won't save you from being arrested, but it may save you from being convicted. In any rational court.) Morning is the leading cause of death on planet Earth. Think about it: whenever anyone dies, it is morning SOMEWHERE. If you ignore MY statistics, listen to the AMA's: Most heart attacks occur among waking people between 9AM and 10AM. And according the the AMA, the leading causes of death are old age, and stress related diseases. What is old age? Too many mornings! And what is stress? TOO MUCH MORNING!

There you are.

Morning is provably debilitating to the intellect. A group of scientists woke a lot of rats up before noon and EVERY SINGLE ONE tested out with an IQ below that of the average human!

There you are.

The corrupting effects of morning are incalculable. Among the convicts in all American prisons, EVERY SINGLE ONE got up before noon at least ONCE in life!

There you are.

Even the Bible has been corrupted. The root of all evil was not "money" -- it was "morning". One day a scribe got up too early and blotted his copybook. Think about it: which would make you feel evilest: a million dollars, or an alarm clock that goes off at 4:30 EVERY morning?

There you are.

We could have peace on earth if everyone slept until noon. A world full of mellow people ambling around in sunglasses, blowing sax riffs and asking "How's it hanging man?". Think about it: can you imagine a bunch of folk musicians launching a Gulf War?

There you are.

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