{"id":767,"date":"2012-12-17T22:45:43","date_gmt":"2012-12-18T06:45:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/anitra.net\/word\/?p=767"},"modified":"2012-12-17T23:36:20","modified_gmt":"2012-12-18T07:36:20","slug":"life-lessons","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/anitra.net\/word\/life-lessons\/","title":{"rendered":"Life Lessons"},"content":{"rendered":"

Life Lessons<\/span>
\nthoughts by Anitra L. Freeman<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0I have a few problems with this whole idea of “Life Lessons” myself. Not that I don’t think we can learn spiritual lessons from life, but I do think that the idea is often used very simplistically.<\/p>\n

The main problem I have with the idea of Life Lessons is the idea that the lesson was arranged. A principle of the scientific method is that an explanation should not only be sufficient to account for the thing explained, it should also be necessary — and this idea of “pre-arranged Life Lessons” just isn’t necessary. It is quite possible for Life to be a running game of dodgeball between blind circumstances, and we could still learn from it. Humans are meaning-generators: give a human any set of random signals, and she’ll make something out of it. Give different humans the same set of random signals, and they’ll each make something different out of it. Running out of gas on a late-night backroad can be interpreted different ways by different people.<\/p>\n

It is indeed possible to learn from everything<\/b> — and to learn a lot more than the Kabala’s suggested 12,166 lessons; more than can fit on any Angel-Like Being’s Test Form. One part of Momma gives milk when you suck, but just about any part tastes good when you suck it, anyway. So does your own body, and almost any other object, but they all taste different. Rocks look prettier when they’re wet. Don’t bite rocks: although there are some of them that are soft enough that your teeth will break them before they break your teeth, they don’t taste good enough to be worth it unless enough boys are watching, and then you’ll have to do it lots more times and you’ll hate it.<\/p>\n

There are more things to learn from life than you could possibly count or plan for on any spiritual level at all. The best way to learn them is with unfettered expectations. Don’t plan your lessons — just go for it.<\/p>\n

\n

Story: Life Lessons<\/h2>\n

Angel-Like Being: “Allright dear, before we can decide your next State of Existence, we have to see if you have completed your Life Lessons. Let’s see what you were down for this round … Ah, yes.<\/p>\n

“Question One: What don’t you do to Aunt Mabel’s little dog Corky?”<\/p>\n

Departed Being holds out astral hands that still show little white scars. “When you give a cookie away, you don’t try to take it back again.”<\/p>\n

ALB pens a large glowing check in the “Passed” column. “Very good. Now, this time<\/b> did you get the lesson about the braids of the girl sitting in front of you in third grade?”<\/p>\n

DB glows with pride. “I tied them to the base of my inkwell with a half-hitch<\/b>!”<\/p>\n

ALB rolls eyes upward and makes a large black check under “Repeat,” then pauses over the “Suggested Scenarios” entry. “And just how would you feel if somebody did that to you<\/b>?” ALB asks, considering the possibilities of a Cross-Situational Role.<\/p>\n

“Johnny did<\/b> do it to me,” DB says, “but I remembered the bit about ‘Treat other people better than you have been treated.'” DB sniffs. “Johnny used a plain knot on my<\/b> braids.”<\/p>\n

ALB stares thoughtfully at DB for a few beats, then writes “The girl in front should be big, fast, and without humor.”<\/p>\n

“I see that you made it past age 13 this time. Does that mean that you got the lesson about not eating out of cans with puffed-up lids?”<\/p>\n

“Is that the lesson I was supposed to get? I thought the lesson was ‘If you can’t find a can-opener and you try to use an axe instead you’ll just get tomato soup all over the back porch and have to spend an hour cleaning before Mom gets home.”<\/p>\n

ALB checks “Repeat” and notes under “Suggestions,” “With<\/b> a can-opener, Lachesis, you Idiot.”<\/p>\n

“You made it through the rest of your teens, too. Very good. So, what are you supposed<\/b> to do with glue?”<\/p>\n

DB takes a deep breath and chants, “Glue is for bonding, and not for breathing” — then glows with a delighted grin and says, “Do you know, you can only glue a gerbil to the ceiling once, but if you’re careful you can glue a guinea-pig to the ceiling lots<\/b> of times before he runs out of hair!”<\/p>\n

Without hesitation ALB checks “Passed” — then skips to the end of the form and makes a note under “Additional Lessons.”<\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Life Lessons thoughts by Anitra L. Freeman \u00a0I have a few problems with this whole idea of “Life Lessons” myself. Not that I don’t think we can learn spiritual lessons from life, but I do think that the idea is often used very simplistically.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,85,90],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-767","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-essay","category-fiction","category-religion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/anitra.net\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/767","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/anitra.net\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/anitra.net\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/anitra.net\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/anitra.net\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=767"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/anitra.net\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/767\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":792,"href":"http:\/\/anitra.net\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/767\/revisions\/792"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/anitra.net\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=767"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/anitra.net\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=767"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/anitra.net\/word\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=767"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}