What's Filk?
It's All for Me Web the filk
It's All for Me Grog the song
Why? the story

True Confessions of a Filk Singer

Filking definitions:

    Folk songs written by live people.
    - credited to Poul Anderson
    Any song, sung with the wrong words, loudly, and off key.
    - Robert Asprin
    The best part of a science-fiction convention.
    - filk singers
    The biggest annoyance at a science-fiction convention.
    - the kind of people who never get puns
    Front-line of the battle to take back our culture from the mass-media conspiracy.
    - literate filk-singers
    A conspiracy to drive all music lovers batspit.
    - snobs

For a more thorough intro to filk singing, see the Interfilk site. You can also browse the newsgroup rec.music.filk; if your own server does not subscribe, try Google Groups.


"And It's All For Me Web"
-------------------------

(chorus)
And it's all for me Web,
Me jolly, jolly Web,
It's all for me Mail Lists and Chat Rooms,
For I've spent hours in TIN
Reading newsgroups by the bin,
Now they're taking all me money for the On-Line!

(verse)
And what of me page?
Me jolly, jolly page?
Oh it's all gone for Mail Lists and Chat Rooms!
I've loaded all I've sung or wrote,
And my server's sent a note
That my file limit's gone beyond the On-Line!

(chorus)

And what of me Mail? Me jolly, jolly Mail?
It's all gone for Mail Lists and Chat Rooms!
I've saved every scrap, to answer When I've someday read each word,
And the server says the stack's beyond the On-Line!

(chorus)

And what of me News?
Me jolly, jolly News?
It's all gone for Mail Lists and Chat Rooms!
For the slush pile's getting thick,
And the flames are rising quick,
And I'm going somewhere else upon the On-Line!

(chorus)

And what of me Chat?
Me jolly, jolly Chat?
It's all gone for Mail Lists and Chat Rooms!
I can't tell you 'bout the Chat
For I've too much mail for that,
And I've only so much time upon the On-Line!

(chorus)

And what of me Games?
Me jolly, jolly Games?
It's all gone for Mail Lists and Chat Rooms!
I'm bored with mazes down in Hell -
I'll debug HTML!
There is always one more challenge on the On-Line!

(chorus)

And what of me URL?
Me jolly, jolly URL?
It's all gone for Mail Lists and Chat Rooms!
My browser stumbled on a typo,
I'm hung up and can't get back,
Now I'm out here in the Limbo of the On-Line!

(chorus)

And what of me Freenet?
Me jolly, jolly Freenet?
It's all gone for Mail Lists and Chat Rooms!
For my log-in time's run out -
Logging in and logging out!
And I'm off to find a server that stays On-Line!

(chorus)

The Speakeasy has good beer,
Good food and music, atmosphere;
And it's all gone for Mail Lists and Chat Rooms!
And if any's been embarrassed
By my little ditty here -
Well, you shouldn't charge a Bard for time spent On-Line!

(chorus)
And it's all for me Web,
Me jolly, jolly Web,
It's all for me Mail Lists and Chat Rooms,
For I've spent hours in TIN -
And me mail keeps pouring in!
Now they're taking all me money for the On-Line!





The original that this was taken from.

This folk song was originally sung by sailors who came into shore with several month's pay in their pocket because they hadn't had any place to spend it, found lots of places to spend it, and had to sail again because they were broke.

(Chorus)
And it's all for me grog,
Me jolly, jolly grog,
It's all for me beer and tobacco,
For I spent all me tin
on the lassies, drinking gin,
And across the Western Ocean I must wander.

(Verse)
And where are me shoes,
Me jolly, jolly shoes?
They've all gone for beer and tobacco,
For the soles is all wore out,
And the tops is knocked about,
And the heels is looking out for better weather!

Every verse follows the same structure.



Sort of like writers who come to the Internet with a backlog of ideas they haven't been able to express, find plenty of places to express themselves, and have to log off again because they've spent all their money on on-line time and must go to work for more.

I am one of the artists at a homeless art gallery, and a writer/editor for the Real Change homeless newspaper, and I do web sites for nonprofit homeless advocate groups, and I'm pretty busy and I usually have less cash than the average doorknob.

So I try to squeak in as much time on the free text-terminals as I can. Only, past the first hour, it ain't free no mo'. So, what little money I do have, goes mostly into the maw of the Computer.


SO:

Update: I am still on disability and doing volunteer work, but Real Change now has lots of computers online, and I dial in from the office, so I don't have to live under the one-hour limit any more.


Other ALF Filks:
Down Again!
Red Tape Come Again No More
AFPfilk
for Pratchett fans

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Anitra's Writing Page