What is Fear
Can We Define It.
Do you care, that we have no safety net?
Or will the world continue to abuse us more.
What is fear, Can we really define it?
Fear can make us act hasty.
It can twist us until we go crazy or,
don't know what direction to go or
don't care. When you live in fear
It seems that's all you know.
Being pushed from one emotion
to another and back again should,
be a sin. When fear takes over life
Is not an easy roll to play.
They say if we fight, It's wrong!
or we can't control our emotions nor,
From the abuse of husbands straight
To the point of emotional shock.
The scars of hate filled words scar
the very center of childrens hearts,
Who don't understand why mom Is always crying!.
So what is fear?
Can we really define it.
Try to fight it we loose,
Before we've had the chance to fight.
Intellectually Wounded, Not Brain Dead
Emotional and physical.
Abuse, plus the emotional scars that still remain.
? Will I ever see past the actions.
I sit wondering, if I'm, going to be running away from Pete's neglectfulness
and disrespect all of my life.
Will I see another man choke his own child?
Until I more than fall over the edge.
Or will I try to stop it.
Possibly get hit in the face for trying too.
Do I need therapy? no!.
More like a break, not just broken bones.
Hell I've been stolen from.
Beaten up. Spit on.
kicked, hit, swung at and raped.
By a chronic drug user!
Because I'd said no, to drugs.
Was I scared?
Yes! That's how he always was.
Every time, I put my children first.
My free spirit was no longer free.
Threatened, Caged up with no life of my own.
I simply curled up into a tiny ball, not wanting to unfold.
After being used for what he called fun!
I called munipulative pain.
knowing what it felt like, to be loved.
All you wanted was my family's money.
For your dope.
That's life, you bastard.
Don't change me. Change yourself.
Manipulative instincts, Defined.
You fucked me over sideways.
your children, had to watch as you lied.
Playing on my emotions.
Saying, you loved me.
The fuck, If you did!
Take a look in a mirror.
That's who you loved every time you shot dope
Then look again say goodbye.
To the memories of me & your children.
I'm still there for them in my heart.
Even If I can't see them
You will not choke another child
Don't change me, change yourself...
Don't tell me what fear is.
© September 7, 2000 Belinda Springer