I can't douche enough

Trying to forget about you
I still can't douche enough
to wash away the memories of an unclean body
laying in bed next to me

While I turn away from the filth that fills your veins
that hardens my heart to the touch
that has numbed me to the harsh realities of the fact
that you are killing yourself
and I am the one that you blamed...

The turning away has cost me much more
than a mat upon a hardened floor.
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Storm