to Civilization
- pfft
- Rain. A four-letter word; not considered polite to use in front
of young or in mixed company.
- nph
- Yeah. Well.
- Used when one must acknowledge the inevitable, with dignity.
- NOTE: Some cats have never been known to use this word.
- hnph
- A different cat-sniff, meaning "Yeah, I know you think it's
important."
- phht
- Expression of supreme disdain, as, for any food loved yesterday.
- prrrt
- One of the post-hypnotic control words cats implant in their
sleeping humans, it means "Aren't I wonderful? Don't you just
want to give me EVERYTHING?"
- mrrrAOWr!
- Means, "You will find OUT how far I've come from jaguars, offending
THING!"
- aow
- You haven't opened the door yet? I have been standing here for
at least ten seconds and you haven't opened the door
yet?
- (silent yawn)
- huh? The door's open? I should care?
- mmmohmmm?
- You aren't petting me.
- mmmMMMOOHHHMMM
- You aren't petting me!
- praowr!pss
- You're petting me! Stop that!
- hmft
- "Cats make rules for people and dogs. NO-ONE makes rules for
cats."
- Some Rules for People:
- You will always pet a cat when the cat wants to be petted. Having
your arms up to the elbow in bread dough is no better excuse than
being right in the middle of typing a flight of fiction.
- Corollary: You will never pet a cat when the cat
does not want to be petted.
- Second corollary: Never try to figure it out. Your
cat will tell you.
- Everything is defined by its relationship to the cat. Example:
If I walk across the keyboard, that's what it's for. You may use
it for writing when I am not walking, sitting, or sleeping on
it. hnph. (def. above)
- Rules for Dogs:
- You exist on my sufferance, scuzzball.